February, 2008

You live where?

This place doesn't have any addresses. At least not the kind we gringos like. I want numbers. A street name coupled with the name of a cross street. Like longitude and latitude, only without using GPS (which I may resort to, eventually). Here they have addresses like "de la agencia Nissan, 200 metros norte, 75 metros oeste, etc.". That's not an address. Those are rave directions. You usually get directions like that from the really, really stoned guy in the parking lot outside the club who's inviting you to the really great party somewhere in the neighborhood you've never been to and he's only seen once. "Yeah, dude, it's like, uh, ya know where the Denny's is? Yeah? Like near there, but like two blocks down and then you make a right and then like, uh, a left at the yellow house (you know the one, right?) and then you go until, like, the road ahead dead-ends but you turn right before that at the house with, uh, with, all the cars. I'll see you there." Sure you will buddy. Right after I'm car-jacked at the Denny's while I'm asking directions. I went to a crayfish boil in Louisiana once that had "slow down and turn left onto the dirt road when you hear the four barking dogs" in the directions. I spent an hour driving around Metairie with the windows open listening for those dogs and damn if I didn't finally find the place by following the sound of their barking. Similar deal here. The "address" for the house we rented is on the lease, but it's rather different from the address the agent gave me which I gave the movers which got them lost for a while. I tried to be more descriptive when giving directions to the lawyer last week, but I still had to go fetch him from the street just past ours where he was wandering aimlessly. Finally, my new neighbor gave me a set of directions using the fire station as our landmark. These directions seem to work for everyone, so I've written them near the phone and hopefully, if we have to call for an ambulance or pizza, finding us will no longer be a problem.