November 19, 2007

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 19TH, 2007

"No food, no firearms, nothing flammable and no porn."

That's what the guy from the moving company told me today when we were discussing the details of my move. The food, I get. The firearms, sure, makes sense. The flammables, totally understand. The porn...where am I going? Saudi Arabia? Define "porn". I mean, I don't actually have any, but now that you say I can't bring any with me, I'm a tad indignant. Why the Hell not? By porn, do you mean just the stuff you watch or look at? I wondered about other, er, "items". One of my pals has an...object?..she refers to as her 'plastic boyfriend'. Are those banned too? Again, I'm just curious. It's only when someone says "NO" that the impulse problems inherent in my ADHD become an issue. Now that you say I can't, I feel that I should at least try.
I've got so much stuff to do over the next 4 weeks. I've figured out that my dining room is roughly the same size as the container my stuff is being shipped in, so I'm stacking boxes and any other items I can drag in there against the walls and trying to get a feel for what 32 cubic meters really looks like. I'm bringing very little furniture. The heaviest boxes are full of photos and books. My Tempurpedic mattress and my fridge are the two weightiest items. I'm pretty sure the mattress is heavier. Moving that thing is like moving a dead hippo.
But enough about the rest of my household crap...I keep wondering about that porn ban. Hmmm....I'm not gonna run out and buy any porn, I've always found it kind of boring. Very repetitive... But, like, what about the other stuff? If I ordered something, ya know, kinky and shipped it down in the container, would they confiscate it? If they did, could I claim it on the insurance? If this is a customs thing, does it apply to the stuff you bring in your suitcase when you fly down? Will they warn you, fine you or take it away? This is gonna drive me nuts...

29 days left to go.